


Let's Pretend

by AgentCoop, Myka



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anal Sex, Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22153372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCoop/pseuds/AgentCoop, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myka/pseuds/Myka
Summary: They've kissed, and that is magic of itself. But one night, Eiji watches Ash walk in the door, and all of a sudden he wants so much more.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 18
Kudos: 390
Collections: Myka and Coop's Fics





	Let's Pretend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GracefulNanami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GracefulNanami/gifts).



> Happy belated birthday gift to GracefulNanami!

* * *

“You’re home.”

Eiji looks up, his arms are sore and back aching from the position he’d been in.

Ash closes the door softly behind him. “You fell asleep on the table?” he asks as he shrugs off his jacket and tosses it on the empty chair.

Eiji straightens, rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand. “I was writing some notes and dozed off.” Standing, he rises up and wraps his arms around Ash, only to have the other boy stiffen in his grip.

“Jeez you’re freezing!” Ash squirms away from Eiji, but Eiji just grins and hugs him tighter.

Their easy going moment ends quickly when the sound of glass breaking and swearing comes from the room next door.

“It’s loud here.” Eiji says rubbing his arms. “And cold.”

“Come here,” Ash offers, holding out his hand. Eiji takes it and they lay down on the mattress together, bodies close. They stay like that for a minute, not moving at all, until Ash’s fingers pressing softly against the back of Eiji’s neck. “You are super cold. Did you leave the window open earlier?”

“I forgot.” Eiji leans closer, enjoying the warmth of Ash’s fingers.

This is a ritual, though Eiji can no longer remember when it started–where the blurry line between them had wavered.

“Thank you.” Eiji murmurs, looking away from Ash.

Ash’s fingers play gently against the tufts of Eiji’s hair. The back of his hand nuzzled against Eiji’s cheek.

Eiji knows the second before Ash starts kissing him. Soft soft.

This too, is a ritual.

“I changed my mind,” Eiji says. 

Ash breaks the kiss. “Are you sure?”

Eiji nods, inching closer to Ash, kissing him back. He isn’t cold anymore, now that their bodies are pressed together, the thick and scratchy woolen blanket thrown over them both. Ash is still in his jeans and t-shirt, and Eiji watches him carefully as he swallows hard, eyes unwavering, but a tension is held within him, just enough that his jawline pops.

““I want to have sex.”” Eiji whispers, bringing a hand to Ash’s cheek. “It is okay.”

“You want to have sex?”

It’s the same question Ash had asked him yesterday.

Eiji smiles, and nods. There’s a fluttering deep inside his stomach, and it’s getting hard to swallow around the nervous tangle in his chest, but he’s never been more sure of anything in his entire life. “I trust you,” is all he whispers. “I’m ready.”

With those words, Ash relaxes into Eiji’s touch, dark green eyes finally softening.

“Okay,” he murmurs, swallowing hard again. “Okay.”

Eiji reaches first, fingers tentatively stroking down the cotton of Ash’s white t-shirt and landing at the button of his jeans. It only takes a second for him to get them unhooked, and to press his hand underneath the denim. Ash is hard underneath his briefs, and Eiji’s fingers close around this as he gasps in surprise.

He’s touched himself before.

He’s stroked himself to hardness under the hot spray of the shower and come with Ash’s name on his lips.

This is so different though, touching someone else in that way. Eiji knows what he likes, but he’s uncertain of what Ash wants, and so he looks up in question, fingers releasing for a moment and barely brushing against the fabric.

Ash is still watching him, but his pupils are blown wide, and his breath is coming in short, quick gasps. He moves out of Eiji’s grasp suddenly, reaching down for the hem of his shirt, and quickly pulling it over his head. It musses his blond hair as it comes free and reveals his firmly muscled chest.

“Oh,” Eiji gasps, as Ash suddenly reaches for him, quickly undoing the buckle of Eiji’s pants and pushing them down over his ass and his own hardening cock. Ash leans across the border between them then, nosing at Eiji’s cheek, turning his head just enough to kiss.

This, they’ve done before–this is familiar–but they’re both breathing harder than ever before, and even as Ash’s lips part, his hand is rucking up Eiji’s shirt as well.

Eiji chases Ash’s lips, refusing to break the kiss first, and quickly unbuttons his own shirt as their lips finally separate.

“I love you,” Ash breathes, quick, and nervous.

“I love you too,” Eiji answers. There is no other answer. There never was.

Eiji finally shrugs out of the starched firmness of his shirt, and then they are both almost naked, curled against each other like a perfect parenthesis of their bodies. Ash is still watching Eiji’s eyes, but Eiji finally drops his gaze, watching the way Ash’s pulse beats at his throat, watching the way he swallows so slow.

Eiji wants to mimic this slowness, wants this night to last forever, and so he carefully leans forward, pressing a kiss to Ash’s throat, then lets a finger trail slowly down from the curve of his shoulder, to the swell of his chest, further, further until he’s right back at the waistband of Ash’s briefs. “I want to touch you,” he whispers, though he can feel a red flush creeping up the back of his neck. He’s never said something like this, never wanted someone like this, and he squeezes his eyes closed against the dip of Ash’s neck.

Ash doesn’t say anything at all, just breathes out all at once, a huff of air, like he’s barely in control at all. His hands hold Eiji’s shoulders tight. His hands don’t wander down.

He’s afraid, and Eiji’ can feel it pooling thick between them.

“Ash?” he whispers, lips against skin.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Ash says back.

His voice is so quiet, it’s barely a murmur of sound, but there’s so much pain in it that though his fingers continue to trace around the swell of Ash’s navel, Eiji looks up again.

“I love you,” he promises again. “Ash, I love you.”

It’s not enough, he can feel that as soon as the words leave his mouth. “I want this, he whispers again, reaching up and wrapping his hand around Ash’s wrist. “Touch me.”

The smallest whimper of sound comes from Ash, and Eiji guides his hand down, down, holding it against his own growing erection.

They stay perfectly still like this for a long while–Eiji’s fingers wrapped around Ash’s wrist holding him there, and the sound of their breathing growing heavier with every moment.

“Touch me,” Eiji murmurs again, closing his eyes.

He can feel Ash swallow hard against him, and then Ash’s fingers open, wrapping around Eiji’s cock and carefully stroking up towards the head, then back down again.

Eiji’s breath catches in his throat, and he lets it out slowly in surprise, as Ash’s fingers continue to slowly work. It’s so much better than when Eiji does this himself, and he lets out a throaty moan within moments–and Ash freezes, throwing his other hand up and pressing it hard to Eiji’s mouth.

“Quiet,” he orders, eyes so dark they look black.

Eiji manages a small nod, blinking in surprise.

“S...sorry,” Ash shudders out, wincing. “I just...the gang...they’re out there and–”

Eiji nods again, firmer this time, and reaches up to push away Ash’s hand. “Okay,” he whispers, and he can’t stop the grin that’s creeping up, “I will be quiet. I promise.”

Ash rolls his eyes. “I barely touched you. And you already did...well...that.”

Pushing himself up on both arms, Eiji lunges forward and kisses Ash. For just a second, Ash’s mouth is open in an ‘O’ of surprise, but then he’s kissing back, so hard it hurts, and Eiji wraps his arms around Ash’s neck, letting the force of him tumble them both back down to the mattress. 

Eventually, they break away, and now Ash is on top of Eiji, looking down into his eyes, both arms on either side of Eiji’s head. His hair falls, long enough that it’s brushing against Eiji’s nose, and his eyes are still that dark intensity, but he’s breathing hard, and he’s smiling too–smaller than what Eiji can give, but still  _ everything _ .

“I love you,” Ash whispers, so quiet that only his lips move, just enough sound that Eiji can feel it piercing his heart.

“I love you so much,” Eiji says again, reaching up and brushing Ash’s hair behind his ear.

Smiling just a little bit wider, Ash blinks, and suddenly can’t hold eye contact again.

_ He’s nervous _ , Eiji thinks. He watches another moment, before the return thought finally hits.  _ So am I.  _ Ash doesn’t say anything else, just watches a spot right next to Eiji’s head with a fevered intensity that it almost terrifying, if Eiji didn’t understand him so completely.

“I want everything,” he finally works up the courage to say, flushing with heat at his words. “I want you...just...everything.”

Ash bites his lower lip, thinking for just a second, then he finally meets Eiji’s eyes again. “I need...I need more than that?” he asks, as though it’s really a question, and not a demand. “I need to know exactly. Is that...is that okay?”

The flush in Eiji’s cheeks grows even deeper, and he feels like he’s coming apart under the intensity of Ash’s stare. “Uh...I want...I…”

He knows exactly why Ash needs this. He doesn’t want to think too deeply about it, or probe Ash for reasons, but it all comes back to consent, and it all comes back to Ash being terrified that he’ll hurt Eiji in the way he’s been hurt. 

Eiji understands, but it’s still hard to say it. “I want...you...inside of me,” he finally huffs out, turning his head slightly and squeezing his eyes closed.

Ash just breathes above him, the slightest quickening in tempo, but all Eiji can hear is the thundering beat of his own heart. He can feel Ash, still hard against his thigh, and he wants so badly to push down Ash’s briefs and to see everything, to watch the way his chest moves as he breaths, all the way down to study every line of his groin. 

Suddenly, Ash thrusts forward, rubbing against Eiji’s own hardness, then he tumbles to the side, working his fingers into the waistband and pushing off the fabric. His cock springs free, so hard, and so big.

Eiji’s just had his hand around it, and still he’s in awe by the size. “You’re enormous,” he says, then claps a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. “Oh god, I’m sorry,” he squeaks, refusing to take his hand away.

Ash bends over him once more, and presses a kiss into Eiji’s cheek. “I won’t hurt you,” he murmurs, lips against Eiji’s skin. Then he presses a hand against Eiji’s belly, slipping it under his own briefs.

Eiji bucks up, helping Ash push them down, and letting his own cock free. It’s already wet at the tip, and Ash immediately thumbs at the slit, twisting his hand just enough to cover the head with wetness and then releasing, bringing his hand back to his mouth. 

He hovers there for a moment, his hand wet with Eiji’s precum right near their faces, then he kisses Eiji once more, and turns, licking at his finger with the tip of his tongue.

Burning with embarrassment, Eiji bites his own lip as hard as he can, trying to ignore the sudden rearing of intense heat that travels from his groin to his chest. 

Ash just closes his eyes and lets a little gasp slip out. “C..c..can I…” he shudders out, eyes still closed.

Eiji will give him anything in the entire universe.

“Can I taste you?” Ash asks, breath loud against Eiji’s ear.

Ash doesn’t mean in this way, the way his thumb has paused against his lips. He means more, and suddenly Eiji is so overwhelmed with desire he can barely breathe out a simple ‘yes.’

He does though, and suddenly Ash is moving, pushing himself higher for a moment, and then repositioning himself down between Eiji’s thighs. He reaches a hand up still, stroking at Eiji’s chest, fingers finding a nipple and just circling it for a moment, and then he swallows Eiji whole.

Eiji has to devote his entire concentration in that moment to not bucking his hips up at the sensation. Ash’s mouth is so hot around him, his tongue is licking up Eiji’s length, and then circling round the head again, just like his fingers did at first, but this is so much  _ more  _ than that. It’s heat, and wetness, and Ash. It’s Ash.

Eiji watches his head bob up and down, and he has to throw and arm over his mouth to keep from making any sounds. He can’t last this way. He’s already so hard, so desperate, and just for a moment, Ash looks up at him, lips wrapped around the tip of Eiji’s cock, green eyes piercing and full of love, and Eiji jerks, pushing at Ash’s head.

“Stop,” he huffs out, as quiet as he can. “Stop, stop, I’m gonna...I…”

Ash comes off with a wet ‘pop’ of sound, and wipes at the back of his mouth, a grin forming. “You’re too easy,” he teases, leaning back down, his hands on either side of Eiji’s head. He leans down and kisses Eiji on the lips again, and for just a moment, Eiji can taste himself there, musky and strange.

“Ash,” he murmurs, against Ash’s lips. “Ash, I want...I want…”

“I know,” Ash says, breaking free again. He runs a finger along the side of Eiji’s cheek, down his neck for just a minute, then back up to trace the line of his jaw. “Are you sure?” he asks, quieter again.

“Oh my god, yes. Yes, please, yes,” Eiji moans. He can’t keep it together much longer, he’s already ready to cry with want, with need.

Ash nods once, then reaches across them both, to the small night table sitting by the mattress.

The tiny bottle of lube is there, right where Ash had put it earlier.

Eiji watches him flick the top up with a thumb, and then squirt some out onto his hand. The bottle makes a horrible ‘squelching’ noise, and for just a moment, they are both boys again, trying to contain the bubbling laughter that threatens to burst out. 

“Sorry,” Ash finally giggles, rubbing his fingers together with the slippery liquid. 

Eiji can’t answer, he’s too nervous, and too awed by watching the way those fingers work.

It takes Ash a few minutes to get his composure back.

He’s nervous too–Eiji can tell by the way his shoulder muscles bunch, by the way he keeps licking his lips, by the way his eyes keep darting back and forth, back and forth.

“Are you ready?” Ash asks softly.

He’s back over Eiji now, but one hand is held just below the dip of Eiji’s thigh.

Eiji can’t do anything but swallow and nod. He reaches up and wraps a hand around Ash’s wrist–the one that’s propping Ash up–and tries as hard as he can not to squeeze tight.

There’s nothing, and then suddenly Ash’s fingers are underneath his balls, pressing back further, and further, and then– 

Eiji takes in a breath so loud that Ash pauses, looking at him again.

“Are you alright?” he asks, voice full of concern.

“P...p...please,” Eiji moans, careful to be quiet.

“Relax,” Ash groans, closing his own eyes. 

There’s one finger, circling Eiji’s hole, carefully pressing in but not too far, not too hard, more, and more, and more, and it’s so tight. It doesn’t hurt yet, but it feels strange, not entirely right, and Eiji swallows hard, trying to relax as much as he can.

“There,” Ash whispers. “Good, Eiji, god you are...oh god I love you so much.”

The words just spill out of him, and then he’s got two fingers in, past the muscle, working at Eiji’s walls. It’s too much at first, and Eiji bites back a moan of discomfort, but slowly he stretches out, and it almost starts to feel good. “Ash,” he whines, suddenly realizing that his fingers are clenched so tight around Ash’s wrist that they’re white. “Ash, please–”

“Hang on,” Ash moans. His face is tight with concentration, but he dips his head down again to kiss Eiji, his lips so soft and wet. “Hang on,” he whispers again, coming back up.

He pushes in a third finger, and it’s too much, it’s too much, Eiji can’t take it all. He can feel himself tensing up, he wants this so badly, but his cock is starting to soften and it hurts and then–

“Eiji,” Ash murmurs. “Eiji, look at me.”

Eiji blinks, trying to get his breathing under control. There’s Ash, right above him, his eyes so full of want, desire, love, and everything.

_ Everything _ .

Eiji finally relaxes into it, there are three fingers inside of him, massaging around the entrance, wet with lubricant.

Ash smiles down at him. “You’re so beautiful,” he says with a groan, and then suddenly draws his fingers out.

It’s so sudden, this emptiness, that Eiji gasps loudly, and Ash’s eyes go wide.

“Sorry,” Eiji murmurs, flushing hot again. “I…”

“Are you okay?” Ash asks.

“I am nervous,” Eiji admits. His cock lies against his belly, only half-hard now, and he’s never wanted anything as much as he wants Ash but he’s suddenly so scared that he won’t be enough. “But I’m sure I want this,” he says, repeating himself from earlier. “I–”

“I love you,” Ash interrupts. He moves for just a moment, positioning himself above Eiji.

Eiji can feel the head of Ash’s cock pressing against him, and he swallows hard, heart beating fast, desperate want rolling inside of him so thick he can barely think.

“I’ll go slow,” Ash whispers. “Can I go inside?”

“Yes.” Eiji moans, quiet as he can. “I want you inside me.”

Ash pushes finger into Eiji’s skin. There’s a press against his entrance, and then so slowly, Ash begins to push forward.

Eiji almost cries out with it, but Ash is true to his word–so slow that it gives Eiji time to breathe, time to relax.

Ash gently rocks against him, further, then further, then–

“Oh–” Eiji gasps, eyes flickering open.

Ash is still above him, watching, and he stills just long enough bend down for a kiss again. “Right there,” he murmurs, smiling against Eiji’s lips. “It’s good, right?”

He rocks forward again, just a little, and Eiji lets another ‘Oh,’ escape. There’s a spot right there that Ash is hitting that’s making every nerve in his body tighten with pleasure, and he wants more, he needs more. He tries to move his hips and take Ash in even more, but Ash shakes his head, tensing above him, 

“No,” he orders quietly. “Wait for me.”

Eiji groans, loud enough that Ash puts a hand over his mouth again, but this time Ash doesn’t seem concerned. His eyes are bright with pleasure, and slowly, too slowly, his hips thrust forward again.

“Ohhh,” Eiji moans against the palm of Ash’s hand.

It’s too much, his cock is filling, so hard again that he wants to cry. He reaches down, wrapping a hand around his length and starts pumping himself.

Ash thrusts again, and again, slowly picking up pace, and every single time he hits that spot inside of Eiji, throwing explosions of pleasure through his entire body.

Eiji can’t stop watching Ash, now that he’s opened his eyes. They can’t stop watching each other.

There’s sweat rolling down the bridge of Ash’s nose, and his cheeks are flushed with heat, his shoulders are flushed with heat and he’s beautiful. He’s the most gorgeous thing that Eiji’s every laid eyes on.

It doesn’t take long for either of them.

Eiji groans once in warning before he’s cumming, his hand pumping his dick as he’s shooting strands of white across his own chest. Ash closes his eyes tight, and jerks against Eiji.

He’s completely silent about it, too controlled, too nervous, but Eiji can feel him shudder once and then Ash is spilling too, deep within Eiji’s body.

They are both breathing hard, they are both louder than they should be, but it doesn’t matter, because Ash collapses against Eiji’s chest, and tucks his head into the crook of Eiji’s arm.

“I love you,” he manages, sound choked off as his breathing stutters. “I really love you.”

He’s still inside of Eiji, and Eiji never wants this moment to end.

There’s violence all around them. Fear, and anger, and boys pretending to be men, who will die far too young.

But right now, everything is perfect.

Eiji draws in a deep breath and holds it as long as he can, as though perhaps, just this once, he can freeze this moment in time and they will leave everything else behind. 

Ash sighs against him as Eiji runs his fingers through fine blond strands. “I love you so much,” Ash whispers against the side of Eiji’s neck. 

Over and over Eiji prays to be like this forever.

But the moment ends. Time keeps moving no matter how much Eiji wants it to stop.

This quiet peace can’t last.

But for a few more minutes, Eiji will pretend that their world isn’t filled with violence and death. He will pretend they are safe in Japan.

He will pretend.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find us on Twitter:  
> [Agentcoop](twitter.com/agentcoop1)  
> [Myka](https://twitter.com/mykafl)


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